The Pontiac Fiero

The Pontiac Fiero was originally dreamed up by John Delorean, famous for his electrically-challenged Delorean sports cars featured in Back to the Future (which is ironic, given the numerous electrical problems that the cars themselves had; a more appropriate title for a movie featuring the Delorean would've been back to the time before we discovered transistors and alternating current.)

The Pontiac Fiero was put into production after the oil crisis in 1979 when GM saw a market for a fuel efficient, two seat sports car. Despite a plethora of appealing features, including a show stopping 3-speed automatic transmission which could be coupled to a 2.5L "Iron Duke" engine ... the Fiero single-handedly managed to turn Pontiac's "Driving Excitement" moniker into "Driving Excrement," faster than you can say "Pull over the car! Something is on fire and melted vinyl just dripped down into my shoe!"

That's right... they don't call it the "Fiero" for nothing. The Fiero was plagued with engine fire problems, stemming from low levels of engine oil which can cause a connecting rod to break, leading to an engine fire. Nearly 1% of all Fieros produced caught fire, and those are only the number of fires reported, as GM stopped counting years ago with the hopes of extinguishing the Fiero's reputation. GM still insist that it is the owners fault for not keeping up with the oil levels in it's notoriously picky "Iron Duke" engine block, which only held a measly 3 quarts anyway... another design flaw. Some fires were also caused by a faulty wiring harness behind the engine, which isn't surprising given the reputation of the designer. The wiring was placed over the top of the exhaust manifold, which is notably ALWAYS the hottest place in the engine compartment; in addition to that, some fires were suspected to be caused by the wires melting from the entire engine overheating, cooking them inside the engine bay. This was from the terrible cooling system issues. The coolant lines running from the radiator to the engine were abnormally long and fragile, since the car was a mid-engine car and the block was so far away from the radiator.

Deing a mid-engine sports car, the vinyl interior would quickly go soon after the initial flame-up, leaving nothing but a metal shell and a mushy pile of goop that was once the interior. If you see a Fiero on the side of the road, chances are the owner is scrounging around inside trying to salvage valuables before the headboard caught fire and dripped any of the number of petroleum based interior finishes down the back of his or her neck.

In addition to the numerous and obvious design flaws, the car was also, in Pontiac tradition, ugly as sin. Characteristics from the car's design can still be seen today in some of Pontiac's newer and even uglier cars such as the Pontiac Aztek, and the Sunfire. These newer cars by Pontiac offer the same ugly car feel (much in the same way that people find pugs to be cute) without the "deathtrap" experience that so many hardcore Pontiac enthusiasts crave.

If you've ever wanted to fully experience what it was like to be burned alive at a concentration camp during WWII, or you're just an average thrill-seeker looking for the next high by making a harrowing escape from a burning plastic and vinyl box, the Fiero is certainly the right car for you.